Civilian
by BohemiaLMM
Summary: Sequel to Model Prisoner. A month after being seperated, Mark and Roger start to rebuild their relationship. RogerMark. Rated so far for language.
1. Beautiful Song

Author's Note: Look, look. Chapter one of Civilian. Yay! Model Prisoner has 122 reviews now. That's crazy. I'm happy. And here is the much anticipated sequel. I **hope** to make this one a bit lighter in mood, but we'll see. Sorry this beginning chapter is so short. I'll try to update soon, but with Hierarchy of Needs and school, it's a bit crazy right now. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER ONE: Beautiful Song**_

_For a wonderful day_

_Sing a beautiful song_

--_ Beautiful Song_

Roger sits on the couch the day after seeing Mark for the first time in weeks, scribbling out some lyrics for a new song. His mind keeps wandering from, further away from the task at hand each time. He saw Mark last night. He talked to Mark last night. Mark is coming home. A foolish grin slips on to Roger's face. When he looks down at his lyrics, he finds that he's spelled courageous as _couratious_. He hurriedly scribbles out the mistake and fixes it. His pen stops moving immediately, however, when the door to the loft opens.

Mark walks in, bag in hand, hair flattened against his head slightly from the April rain. He grins a bit at Roger and closes the door. He discards his things and wet jacket in his room, then returns to stand in front of Roger.

"Hi," Mark says.

Roger watches him, smiling just slightly.

"Hi."

"I'm back."

"You're back."

There's a nervous tension growing between the two men, and it does not go unnoticed. Roger fiddles with his pen for a moment before setting it down. Mark shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"Are you a parrot or something?"

Roger looks at Mark again. It's clear in his expression that he doesn't quite know how to retort to that.

"I haven't seen you for a month, and you come in and start making fun of me? That's appreciation." He rolls his eyes a bit.

Mark laughs and sits next to Roger.

"That's right, Rog. I have no appreciation for you at all. I despise you."

"I knew it. At last the truth comes out." Roger tosses his pen at Mark, and grins when Mark frowns. "You had it coming, Cohen."

Mark shakes his head in amusement, having missed this easy fun between them. He pulls his feet up on the couch and puts his hands on his knees.

"Are you working on a new song?" He nods to the paper Roger was writing on.

"What? Oh, yeah. Just the lyrics though." Roger picks it up and looks at it. "Want to have a read?"

"Well … I don't know … What, with me not appreciating you or anything." With a cheeky grin, Mark takes the lyrics from Roger and scans them over. "So that's what's so different about all these new songs of yours … They're kind of cheerful."

Roger hits Mark in the shoulder slightly.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Mark laughs at Roger's offence. Normally he takes Roger's scowls seriously, but the response was so typically Roger that Mark can't understand how it couldn't be considered comical.

"Face it. You're other songs are filled with angst. Don't try to deny it."

"They're not filled with angst." Roger pouts. "They're artistic."

"Sure, Roger. Sure." Mark gives Roger a consoling pat on the shoulder, then hands back the lyrics. "I want to hear this once it's done."

Roger nearly beams. He can forget, for the time being, what Mark just said about his old songs, because he loves it when Mark takes an interest in his music.

"I suppose I can arrange that."

"Good, good." Mark gets up. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Yeah. You kind of stink."

Mark shoots Roger a small glare, to which Roger replies with an angelic look, and goes to take his shower. Roger shakes his head and laughs.

* * *

Author's Note: There you all go. I hoped you liked it. Reviews, as proven with Model Prisoner, make me write more. Hehe. 


	2. Tomorrow and the Sun

Author's Note: OMG! I'm SO SO sorry for not updating this sooner::_slaps self_: I've got no excuses for it except for my own lazyness and my huge like for procrastination. That and I had no idea at all what to do for this chapter and there was no inspiration anywhere. But it's done now. It's short, but it's done. And I hope you're all still interested in it! I'll try to update sooner next time. I promise!

_**CHAPTER TWO: Tomorrow and the Sun**_

_A second saved_

_One more to buy your time._

_-- Tomorrow and the Sun_

Roger groans and rolls over, attempting to block out the voice by his bed. He feels a foot in his side and finally relents. He sits up, blinking.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" Roger rubs his eyes and glares tiredly at Mark.

"Stop bitching. I want to show you something down at Central Park." Mark tosses some clothes at Roger.

Roger turns to look at the time.

"It's not even seven a.m.!"

"That's kind of the point."

"You're fucking crazy if you think I'm actually getting up this early. Besides, it rained all night. It's gonna be freezing."

Mark folds his arms.

"Dress warm."

"Not a chance."

"I'll buy you a coffee."

"Forget it."

"From Starbucks."

"… I hate you."

Mark smirks as he watches Roger crawl out of bed. In response, Roger tosses a pillow at Mark. He pushes his laughing roommate out of his room and gets dressed. In less than ten minutes, the two men were walking down the cold, wet streets to Central Park.

By the time they reach the park, Roger is complaining under his breath about his shoes being wet. Mark, who hears him perfectly well, ignores it. He knows Roger will stop eventually, and finds no need in encouraging the behaviour. He leads Roger through the park, and stops when they come to a bench, on which he sits down.

Roger gives him a sceptical look.

"Do you expect me to sit down on that, too?"

"It's a bench, Roger. It's not going to bite."

"It's wet."

Mark rolls his eyes.

"Just sit down."

Roger complies reluctantly. He scowls as cold starts creeping up his back, and he puts his hands in his pockets. As he shifts around uncomfortably, he looks at Mark.

"So, why the fuck are we here and when can we go?"

"I just figured you could use some fresh air." Mark smirks and laughs at Roger's instant scowl. "Relax. I'm joking."

"You'd better be," Roger mumbles.

"I was just … Thinking the other day. About when we first starting living together. And you would drag me around the city all night to show me all your favourite clubs, and every morning we'd end up here. At this exact spot. And you'd make me sit here and wait for the sun to come up just so I could see the way the grass or whatever looked first thing in the morning. I figure it's time to return the favour." This time, Mark smirks and doesn't laugh.

Roger looks anything but amused.

"If I wasn't so cold I'd kick your ass right now, you know that?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm well aware of that. Now could you shut up for once and stop complaining for maybe five minutes?" Mark can't help but look amused.

Scowling once more, Roger complies and sits in a moody silence. The sun had already been up for a while, so he didn't see any point at all – even for revenge – to be there. Regardless, Roger looked at the grass in a lazy way, watching the last drops of rain slide down the blades now and then. It seemed like ages before Mark finally stood up.

"We can go now."

"About time, bastard." Roger stands up, grimacing at the wet feeling he acquired from the bench. "And before you ask, no, I didn't appreciate you returning the favour. Now let's go get me my coffee and go back home."

Mark rolls his eyes and starts walking out of the park, with Roger following behind him. Both of them know that, despite of what they say, it was a good feeling to do something they haven't done for so long. It almost makes things feel the way they used to feel.

* * *

Author's Note: Not a very good chapter, I know. But at least it's there! Please send me your reviews. They always make my day much better. :) 


	3. Wonderchild

Author's Note: Here's the **REAL** chapter three. To all those who read the phony one, I'm sorry. It had to be done. Your reviews made it an awesome April Fool's Day. So, don't let the beginning of this mislead you. It's the same as the other one, but it turns out different. I promise. Now, enjoy the proper Wonderchild and hopefully chapter four will be up soon. :)

_**CHAPTER THREE: Wonderchild**_

_Tear it down, light the light_

_You wonderchild, your eyes about to see._

_-- Wonderchild_

"Was that not one of the most kick ass shows I've ever done?" Roger turns to look at Mark as they walk towards the loft.

Mark can't help but smile as he takes in Roger's flushed cheeks, glistening slightly with sweat, and his large grin. It's been ages since he's seen Roger like this.

"It was awesome, Rog," Mark says truthfully. "And I've got it all on film." He pats his camera.

Roger laughs and throws an arm around Mark in a half hug.

"Just like old time."

"Just like old times." Mark echoes. Well, not exactly. Mark knows it can never be just like old times. It's close, though, and that's enough for now.

The two walk in silence for a moment, before Roger speaks again.

"So. I've been thinking."

"Never a good thing." Mark grins as Roger smacks him lightly in the shoulder.

"As I was saying. I've been thinking that me and the guys should try doing a lot more to get our band out there." Roger's voice grew louder with enthusiasm. "We're doing better than we ever have, and the songs I'm writing are awesome. I think it's like, the right time, you know?" His voice gets slightly quieter, more questioning. Mark knows it's Roger's way of not so much asking his advice, but his permission as well.

"I think that's a great idea." Mark is all smiles as Roger grins again.

"You think so?"

Mark nods.

"It's what you've always wanted to do. You've got nothing holding you back anymore."

"You're right. I'm going to do it. I'm really going to work at this." Roger looks at Mark again. "Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it." Mark blushes a bit, and is thankful the night covers it up.

--

"So … Are you paying?" Mark looks across the table at Roger, taking a sip of his tea.

"Me? Why me?" Roger frowns.

"… You're the one getting money."

"What's your point?"

"Roger! We can't keep not paying!"

Roger waves a hand carelessly.

"They're used to us not paying." He scowls slightly when Mark sighs. "Fine. I'll get it paid for."

He begins scanning the Life Café with a hungry gaze that slightly unsettles Mark. He turns his attention outside, grins (in a slightly manic way), takes a drink of coffee, then gets up. In an easy casual manner, Roger saunters over to the waiter of the café. He has a quick conversation and immediately walks over to a professional looking man.

Mark watches Roger skeptically. He feels a pang in his stomach as he sees Roger begin flirting with the man. Whoever he is, Mark notices he's thoroughly enjoying the attention and is more than happy to return the favor. Mark hardly notices his scowl. Roger's smile is too bright, and his body language too fluid. Is Roger not telling him something? Another scowl crosses his face as Roger winks to the man and makes his way back to the table.

"It's taken care of ," Roger says to Mark. "Are you done your tea?" He puts on his jacket.

Mark raises an eyebrow, but finishes his tea. He stands up and follows Roger to the door.

"What the hell is going on, Roger?" Mark frowns.

He stops walking suddenly, and turns his head around as the waiter approaches the man Roger was just talking to. Mark blinks as the waiter asks about paying for a tea and coffee, and he hears the man's startled response. He feels his arm being yanked on, and suddenly he's outside, walking quickly down the street with a grinning Roger.

"… That was horrible, Rog."

"Oh, please." Roger snorts. "You'd have done the samething."

"Er … Actually …" But Mark can't help but smile at the way Roger behaves.

"You know," Roger looks back at the café, "it's a shame I had to do that to him. He was pretty good looking. And totally in to me." He grins some more.

Mark feels his smile fade.

"Yeah … A real shame." He stuffs his hands in his pockets, and the two walk the rest of the way in thoughtful silence.

* * *

Author's Note: There you have it. What do you think? Much better than the other one, eh? Reviews make me happy, as always. ;) I promise I won't be mean and horrible anymore. Well ... I won't be THAT mean and horrible anymore. Mwahahaha. :_cough_: 


	4. Something of Ours

Author's Note: Woo. Quick update! For all those waiting for Mark/Roger, here is the start of it. This is just a short, semi-fluff chapter, but it serves its purpose. Enjoy it!

_**CHAPTER FOUR: Something of Ours**_

_We all want something of ours._

_-- Something of Ours_

Roger walks into the loft as the sun is setting. He shuffles into his room, putting down his guitar and taking off his jacket. On his way to the kitchen, he pauses when he notices Mark sitting on the couch.

"Why so glum, chum?" he asks. He plops himself down next to Mark and stretches out.

Mark gives a half-hearted shrug.

"Nothing. I was just thinking, that's all."

"Never a good thing." Roger smirks slightly, ignoring the way Mark rolls his eyes. "What about?"

"Things in general … Nothing important, at least." Mark gives Roger a slight smile.

In response, Roger raises an eyebrow. He's known Mark long enough to know that when he uses tones like this, it is something important. Unconsciously, Roger shifts a bit. He can't help but wonder if Mark is still feeling uncomfortable around him. He mentally chides himself once more for his stupid behavior.

Mark senses Roger's new uneasiness, and begins fiddling with his hands slightly.

"It's just … I've been thinking about us … Back when … You know …" He heaves a mild sigh. Mark has never been too good at articulating his inner thoughts and feelings. He much prefers listening to other people then offering his opinions.

Roger watches Mark.

"Oh?" he asks. There is a guarded tone to his voice, and his body has tensed up against his will.

"Yeah." Mark nods. He takes in a breath. "See … The thing is … I miss it." He is sure his cheeks flare up at this confession.

Not expecting this at all, Roger is shocked. He was sure Mark was going to say that they should stay away from each other a bit more. His tension slips away, and he feels himself smile. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he'd been wishing something like this would happen. It seemed, at the time, to be highly unlikely, and he had not wanted to push it. Now that Mark has mentioned something, he sees no problem in pushing forwards.

"We could try it again, if you'd like." Roger feels energized. "I promise I'll watch myself this time. I was just … A bit too enthusiastic before."

"Kind of like you are now?" Mark raises an eyebrow and looks amused.

Roger blinks a bit.

"No … I didn't mean … Before I was … I'm not going to … Oh, shut up." Roger narrows his eyes slightly. It is something he always resorts to when he can't find the right words.

Mark laughs.

"Relax. I know what you mean." His grin fades to a smile. "I think giving it another chance is a good idea … As long as you keep yourself in check." He playfully points an accusatory finger at Roger.

"I swear on my guitar that I will behave myself." Roger holds up his right hand and nods.

"Good. So, how was band practice?"

Almost immediately, Roger launched into a long, detailed monologue about practice. Mark's smile grew a bit, and he suddenly felt as though things were finally set right once more.

* * *

Author's Note: I'd like to say now how much I love Roger. Once again, sorry it's so short. I'll try to make chapter five longer. Reviews are lovely. 


	5. Civilian

Author's Note: Lookie lookie! Chapter five is up. Finally. I'm sorry this took a while. The lyrics for Civilian aren't exactly plentiful, even if it is a great song. I've got ideas about the coming chapters, though, so they shouldn't be too hard to write. Keep in mind, I've got an insanely full schedule, so I can't make promises! About this chapter. There are some parts I really like - such as Roger rambling - but, over all, it's not one of my favourites. Regardless of this, I hope you enjoy it.

_**CHAPTER FIVE: Civilian**_

_You're a liar_

_And too weak in the knees._

_-- Civilian_

The first days of their renewed relationship were awkward for Mark and Roger. Whenever they sat on the couch, they weren't sure if they were too close or too far apart. Whenever they walked down the street, they didn't know if they should have been holding hands or something. Kissing was – is – just as bad, if not worse. It reminds Roger of a couple of school kids during their first relationship.

On top of it all, it's been feeling as though there isn't enough "them" time. Mark thinks this is because all Roger cares about, at the moment, is his band. Of course, Mark can't blame him. Finally things are turning out the way Roger wants, but Mark would like to spend some time talking about other than music.

Roger, on the other hand, thinks it's something to do with Mark. To him, Mark is being unresponsive and unsupportive. As much as he tries to involve Mark in what's been going on with him, there's a sense of disinterest that bothers him. To some degree, Roger blames himself. Perhaps if he hadn't been so pushy last time …

But that's all behind him now. As Roger races up the stairs to the loft, he can't see Mark being uninterested in the news he's about to hear. With a large grin, Roger pushes open the loft door, sets down his guitar, and pulls Mark into a kiss.

Mark is too surprised to feel his usual sense of awkwardness. He smiles in response, and looks at Roger.

"Er … Hey, Rog. Having a good day?"

Roger's grin gets bigger.

"Damn fucking rights I am!" He sits Mark down on the couch. "Get this. Ok. You know Greg, right? The guy that sometimes helps us out with our equipment? His brother lives in Los Angeles. Los Angeles, Mark! And he's in a band. And he's doing this show with some regional bands, and he asked Greg to recommend a band from here to go play there as well. And guess what! Recommended us! I might be going to Los Angeles! How fucking awesome is that?"

Mark is at a loss on how to react. He hasn't seen Roger look so happy or so excited over something in a long time. There's no denying it's a great opportunity, and Mark can't think of anyone more deserving than Roger. The only thing upsetting Mark is that, if Roger does go, then he'll have no time at all with him. There's a part of Mark that wants to be greedy and tell Roger it's not worth it, but he cannot bring himself to say that.

"That's great." Mark forces a smile. Upset or not, this is about Roger. Not him. And he should be happy.

"I know!" Roger flops down next to Mark. "We have to wait a week or so before we know if we're going or not. But still. I'm fucking stoked." He turns to Mark. "We should go out or something. Celebrate."

Mark's smile gets bigger.

"You don't even know if you're going yet."

"Fine. We should still go out. Wanna go torment the staff at the café?"

Mark can't help but laugh at the slightly maniacal glint in Roger's eye.

"Fine. Let's go." He stands up and grabs his jacket.

Roger follows suit. He grabs the key and follows Mark down the stairs. Once they're on the street, Roger pulls Mark into another kiss.

"What was that one for?" Mark smiles up at Roger. "You're not going to tell me you're going to Canada or something, are you?"

"Nah." Roger waves his hand slightly. "That one was a thank you."

"For what?"

"You encouraged me to really try and get something going with this band." Roger shrugs, but it's obvious it means a lot to him. "I think if it had just been me, I would've forgotten the whole thing in about a week or two." He looks down for a moment, as if almost ashamed at admitting this. He lifts his head and smiles brightly. "Now let's go. It's starting to rain."

Mark stands there for a moment, watching Roger. There's a heavy lump settling in his stomach. He's been encouraging Roger the whole time. All his inner whining about not spending enough time with Roger is his own fault. He sighs and trudges after the other man. On the bright side, at least there aren't anymore awkward feelings between them.

* * *

Author's Note: Ooh. Look at me, causing problems. Mwahaha. Will Roger goto LA? Guess you'll have to review, encourage me to write more, and find out. I'm so devious. 


	6. Ordinary Men Abound

Author's Note: Ooh. Quick update. This is what happens when the German 8 class are doing a test and I have nothing to do but sit there since no one needs help. I'm pretty much awesome. Haha. I don't think I'll have chapter seven up so soon, though, so enjoy this one. It turned out slightly like I wanted it to.

_**CHAPTER SIX: Ordinary Men Abound**_

_Can't get away from it now_

_I'm too entrenched._

_-- Ordinary Men Abound_

The ring of the phone rouses Roger and Mark out of their sleep-like state. They shift about, untangling their limb. As they yawn, they hear the familiar procession of '_BEEP! – SPEAK!_'

"Hey. Roger. This is Greg. I figured that you –"

In a flash, Roger is off the couch. He picks up the phone, ignoring Mark's slight look of annoyance.

"Greg. Hi. Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah? … Oh." Roger frowns slightly, and quickly brightens up. "Are you serious? Of course! Yeah. Alright. No. Cool. Talk to you later." He hangs up and looks at Mark.

"Well?" Mark raises an eyebrow slightly. He's got an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"We aren't going to LA." Roger sighs a bit, but grins soon after. "Instead, Greg's brother wants us to go to the gig he's doing in San Francisco! We're going in a week!"

Mark smiles as best as he can. He gets up and hugs Roger.

"That's awesome."

Roger practically squeezes Mark.

"I know! I can't fucking wait! Everything is taken care off, too, so I don't need to worry much about money!" He kisses Mark. "I've got to go talk to the guys."

Roger lets go of Mark. He swiftly throws on his jacket and shoes, then waves to Mark and is gone. Mark scowls a bit. He, too, puts on his jacket and shoes. He grabs his camera and leaves the loft, hoping to get other things on his mind.

--

A week, Mark thinks, goes by too fast. All of a sudden he and Roger are the bus depot. Mark shifts his weight uncomfortably while Roger puts out a cigarette.

"So. You're going to San Francisco."

Roger nods. He pushes some hair out of his face.

"Yeah. This is going to be awesome."

"Yeah …"

"Is something bothering you?"

Mark blinks and looks up into Roger's questioning gaze. He puts on a small smile.

"It's nothing … I'm going to miss you, that's all." He shrugs.

Roger laughs and ruffles Mark's hair.

"Thanks. But that's not it, is it?"

"I was finally getting used to everything again." Mark shrugs again. "We were finally starting to spend some good time together."

"We've been spending loads of time together."

"No, I know. But all you can talk about is your music and your band."

Roger frowns.

"You're the one who told me to make an effort!"

"What if I don't want you to make an effort anymore?" Mark gets a frustrated look. "I just don't want you to go, alright?" He watches Roger with narrowed eyes.

"This is one of the best things to ever happen to me and my band." Roger uses his hands to add emphasis to his point. He isn't glaring, but it's apparent that his anger is building. "And all you can think of is what _you_ want? How fucking selfish can you get?"

Roger's bus starts loading on passengers. Mark finally blurts out what's been bothering him the most.

"What if you meet someone over there who's better than me?"

And that is it. Roger's response is far worse than any angry outburst. He watches Mark with a glare that's like ice. It's cold, hard anger, and it's directed at Mark.

"Nice to see you trust me so much. I'll keep that in mind while I'm down there." Roger's voice is as void of fire as his eyes. His words quiver slightly, sending a scared chill through Mark. He shakes his head and gets on the bus.

Mark watched helplessly. He knows there's no point in calling after Roger. That would just make the problem worse. The doors to the bus close, and the two men don't even wave at each other.

As the bus drives off, Mark sits on a bench. He holds his head in his hands. He had pictured saying goodbye to Roger all week, and not once had he imagined it going like this. It wasn't supposed to.

* * *

Author's Note: Silly Mark. Speaking what's on his mind like that. Reviews make me a happy person. 


	7. 10 000 Miles

Author's Note: Goodness! I SO didn't mean to keep this update waiting for so long! This is what I get for having too many commitments. I hope you all can forgive me! And I'm not gonna prattle on, because I know you all just wanna read. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER SEVEN: 10 000 Miles**_

_10 000 miles to take me home_

_I don't belong, out here alone at sea_

_-- 10 000 Miles_

Roger wanders the city of San Francisco, hands in his pockets, eyes on his feet. Around him is the bustle of tourists and locals, looking for somewhere to grab some lunch, and, more than once, Roger has bumped into someone. His mind couldn't further away from him.

His show the night before was, needless to say, amazing. The crowd loved the band, and the party afterwards was just as fun. Yet, through it all, Roger stayed relatively on his own. He couldn't stop thinking about what Mark had said – what he had said.

His mind can't get off the topic. In all honesty, Roger is flattered that Mark cares so much about losing him. The musician can't think of anyone else who's ever felt so strongly about him before. It makes him feel like an ass even more. He knows that he was out of line with such a cold farewell. Hell, he was probably out of line in more ways than that. Roger shakes his head, and finds himself outside of his hotel.

His feet carry him to his room. He unlocks the door and immediately starts packing up his things. The band isn't set to go back to New York for another day, but Roger can't see the point in staying any longer. He needs to get back and set things straight with Mark. After scribbling a note for his band mates, Roger takes his things and walks to the bus station.

The bus ride home seems to be taking longer than it should. Roger is getting restless in his seat. He digs through his bag and pulls out a pad of paper. Writing always makes the time pass. But Roger is uninspired. He chews on his pen, letting his eyes examine the other passengers on the bus. How many of them are returning to lovers to fix things up? There's a good chance some of them are, Roger thinks. After all, this is his second bus trip back home to a scorned lover.

Roger taps his pen on the paper. He isn't the mood to people-watch. His eyes travel to the scene in the window. There is nothing really fascinating to be seen. Cars drive by, fields roll along. It looks like something Mark would film. Roger's pen stops in mid-tap. He stares at the back of the seat in front of him, and immediately starts writing.

Back when he was in high school, someone told Roger that writing down what he's feeling will help organize his thoughts and clear his mind. He's never done it before. The page on his lap is filling up steadily with thoughts of his illness, his past, and Mark. Every second sentence seems to be about Mark. Roger stops writing and puts his pen away.

A familiar feeling is sneaking up on Roger. He can feel the obsession – the addiction – creeping back into his body. A dull ache fills his stomach. He thought he was over this. Everything had been going so well. Roger closes his eyes and takes a few, deep breaths. He opens them again and watches the cars drive by the bus.

Roger reminds himself that he is not supposed to be addicted to Mark anymore.

* * *

Author's Note: I know! It's a crap chapter! Please don't kill me. I'll try to get another one up by tonight or tomorrow that will (hopefully) make up for the length and lameness of this one. Please review! It makes me confident. And. Thank you to all those who are still reading this. 


	8. No Trace

Author's Note: Ok. Another small chapter, but quickly updated. So, you know, whatever. I'm not very fond of this chapter, and I think I just used it as an excuse to bring Mimi in. Haha. Plus, I'm slightly distracted by some new soundtracks I've downloaded. Anyways. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER EIGHT: No Trace**_

_Still half a life away_

_There's no trace of you_

_-- No Trace _

Mark is at a loss of what to do. He can't even bring himself to do some filming or editing – he's done it too much in these last couple of days. He's gone visiting, walking, relaxing. He's even cleaned. He's bothered.

Roger hasn't phoned. Mark's worried. True, they didn't exactly leave off on good terms, but it was unlike Roger to call with some sort of feeble apology. It's times like these when Mark's over active imagination gets the best of him. He can't stand to think of everything that could've happened to the other man.

He flops himself down on the couch, folding his hands on his lap. He looks at them, twiddling his thumbs out of nervousness. Roger can take care of himself, Mark knows. And he knows that Roger wouldn't have gone and done something stupid. Well … Something really stupid. There's a sound outside the door, and Mark is immediately up and opening it. His face falls slightly at the sight of Mimi, just about to knock on the door.

"Oh … Hey, Mimi."

"Hi Mark." Mimi flashes him a smile, which quickly changes into an amused look. "Expecting someone else?"

"No … Yes." Mark sighs, and can't help but smile at his slight humiliation. "Want to come inside?"

"Yeah, sure. I was wondering if you had any coffee I could borrow? I don't get paid for a few more days, and I don't know if I can last without it that long."

She laughs, and Mark grins a bit as he closes the door behind her. There was a time that she would be saying that about something other than coffee. He goes to get her some.

"Whoa … What the hell happened in here?"

"What do you mean?" Mark looks over at Mimi.

Mimi motions around the loft.

"It's clean. Like … Actually clean. Have some spare time on your hands?"

"Sort of …"

"I'm surprised Roger hasn't messed the place up already."

"He's not here."

Mimi looks over at Mark and frowns slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"He's gone to San Francisco. His band got an opportunity to play there."

"You don't sound very happy about it." Mimi sits down, keeping her watchful eyes on Mark.

"He hasn't called."

"I'll bet it's more than that. He's got under your skin too?" There's a pause in which Mark doesn't reply, and Mimi continues. "Don't worry about it, Mark. Whatever's going on between you two, I'm sure it won't last long. I think you two were made for each other." She gets up and retrieves the coffee from him. "Thanks Mark. See you later."

With a smile and a wink, Mimi leaves the loft. Mark stands there, feeling slightly stunned at Mimi's lack of tact and somewhat ominous trait of knowing more than she ought to.

* * *

Author's Note: I PROMISE next chapter will be way better! I'm having inspiration problems. Please review. ) 


	9. Mother's Child

Author's Note: I don't know what's up with me and these short chapters ... At least I'm trying, right? Next chapter will have both Mark and Roger in it, so I'm sure that will be longer and much better. Oh. I just got hit with an idea for it. Excellent. And, by the way, I'm horrible at writing Collins, but it was about time he showed up. So. Forgive me. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER NINE: Mother's Child**_

_Should I try to change the world we live in?_

_-- Mother's Child_

Roger's bus gets into the city in the late evening. He walks to the loft, getting more apprehensive with every step he takes. He has no idea how he can face Mark right now. His palms are getting sweaty. Somehow this reminds him of his first day of school. Cautiously he climbs the stairs. He stops in front of the door and stares at it. He can't do this right now. With much quicker steps than before, Roger walks away from the door and down to the street again. He already knows where he's going.

The walk to Collins' place takes longer than usual, it seems. Perhaps Roger just hasn't been there for a long time. He hasn't. Though, it comforts Roger to know that Collins is there nonetheless. The other man is good for things like this.

Roger knocks on the door. Hopefully Collins is home.

In a couple of moments, the door is opened and Roger is greeted by a smiling Collins.

"Roger! Long time no see." Collins steps out of the doorway, letting Roger step inside. "Did you just get home or something?"

Roger looks at his bag and guitar, and sets them on the floor.

"Yeah." He takes a seat without an invitation.

"How was San Francisco?" Collins sits as well, and grins at the look Roger gives him. "Mark told me. He was over the other day. He was getting worried about you. Said you didn't call."

"Oh …" Roger looks down slightly. "I got pretty busy down there. With the gig and stuff," he adds quickly, seeing Collins' sudden amusement. "I meant to call."

"I hear you two had a pretty rough goodbye. Want something to drink?"

"Please." Roger leans back. "So you already know that part of the story?"

Collins pours himself and Roger a drink.

"I don't think that's what you want to talk about, though. Here." He gives Roger his drink. "What's up with you now?"

"It's … I'm scared about seeing Mark." Roger downs his drink. He hates talking about his feelings. "I'm getting like I used to be."

Collins raises an eyebrow, then realization dawns upon him. He knocks back his drink as well and rolls his eyes.

"You got over it once before, Roger. I'm sure you can do it again."

"I tried! It's not like I can just -"

"I can't everything for you, Roger." Collins smiles at him slightly. "Just go to the loft and see Mark. Maybe you just miss him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that shit."

Roger stares at Collins.

"I bet you gave Mark better advice than this."

"Yeah, well Mark isn't a self-centered bastard."

"Asshole."

"You know it."

Roger gets up and grabs his bag and guitar. He opens the door and looks back at Collins.

"Thanks for the cheap words of wisdom."

"Anytime, Roger. Anytime."

The two share a laugh and Roger is once again headed towards the loft.

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Author's Note: Yeah yeah ... Sorry. My mind is so on everything else. Hopefully I'm making up for the long absence though. Reviews make me a happy camper! P


	10. Book of Endings

Author's Note: So. I'm actually really pleased with this chapter. It didn't turn out as long as I wanted it to, but most of it came out better than I expected. I love Roger. And, by the way, this story is at 73 reviews and there are only two more chapters left ... Think we can get close to 100? Enjoy (and link some friends, lol - ooh, look at me pimp my stories)!

_**CHAPTER TEN: Book of Endings**_

_I'm just that kind of guy_

_Never know the reasons why._

_-- Book of Endings_

Roger walks towards the loft with a bit more confidence in his steps. He makes his way up the stairs and pulls open the door. He freezes. He doesn't even see Mark come out of his room.

"Roger!" Mark says. "You're back early!"

"What the fuck happened here?"

Mark looks around.

"Oh … I got a bit restless."

Finally, Roger realizes that Mark is there. He tears his eyes away from the miraculously clean loft. He looks at the other man.

"Oh … Hi." Roger feels his confidence fading quickly.

"Hi." Mark smiles a bit.

"Er … I …" Roger searches through his mind about what to say first. "Sorry about being an ass before."

Mark smiles a bit more.

"It's fine. I brought it upon myself."

Roger stays silent for a moment.

"Can we just skip this awkward bullshit and forgive each other?"

"Sure." Mark laughs and hugs Roger. "It's nice to have you back."

Roger tenses up and steps out of Mark's hug. He looks down at his feet, avoiding Mark's gaze. He's not sure he can do this. He's surprised he's not breaking out into a sweat.

Mark frowns.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do this right now."

Roger brings his things into his room. He plans on going into seclusion for a little while. That's always worked for him before. Mark isn't going to let Roger off this easily. He follows him into his room.

"Seriously, Roger. What's going on?"

Roger is obviously bristled. Not only his confidence gone, but his good mood is going with it. He puts down his guitar and drops his bag on the floor. He pushes passed Mark, heading for the kitchen.

"Stop being an ass." Mark follows him again.

Roger pivots around to face Mark.

"You stop being an ass!"

Mark flinches back slightly. He hadn't been expecting this.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?"

"You've gotten into me, alright?" Roger glares. "Happy now?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn well what it means." Roger walks over to Mark, towering over him with fire in his eyes. "You spend your time making everyone feel good about themselves, pretending not to give a shit about yourself." A distinct note of hysteria appears in Roger's voice. "And, you know what? You do it so well that I completely forget everything because you make me feel so good about myself, that I didn't even notice what the hell you were doing to me."

Mark gives Roger a look of confusion.

"Roger, calm down … What are you talking ab-"

"I can't stop thinking about you! I can't do anything without wondering what you'll say about it. Do you know what the fuck that feels like, Mark?" Roger pauses to take a few breaths. "I thought I could do this now." He looks at Mark, all the anger gone from his expression and replaced with a softness that Roger rarely shows. "I'm sorry." He kisses Mark's cheek. "Someday. I promise."

Mark stands there, blinking, while Roger returns to his room. Normally, Mark would leave situations like this where they stand, but something about the way Roger let everything out like that gives Mark some hope. He's not going give up on Roger so easily this time.

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Author's Note: So, did you like? Let me know your thoughts. 27 more reviews is all I need. P 


	11. The Ringing in My Ear

Author's Note: I had some time to kill, so here you go. Sorry again about the slow update. It's exam time. Eesh. By the way, the fluff attacks you in this chapter, so be warned. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER EVLEVEN: The Ringing in My Ear**_

_So scared to love_

_So scared to take the fall._

_-- The Ringing in My Ear_

The next few days are filled with Mark talking to Roger, trying to coax some sort of explanation – or even reaction – out of the musician. His persistence is noticeable, and it makes Roger bristle even more. He can't figure out why people don't take hints anymore.

Secretly, and only ever secretly, Roger enjoys how much Mark is putting into this. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside – makes him feel important for once. There are times when Roger thinks he should never respond to Mark, just to keep this going. Then he thinks of the consequences, and his mind shuts up.

Besides the mounting tension between the two of them, Mark and Roger go on with their daily routines the same as they would any day. They get up, eat something, Mark goes filming while Roger sits on the couch writing a song, Mark comes back and Roger goes to band practice. Sometimes neither of them do anything all day, and they sit in the loft making small talk. It goes on like this for a while.

Suddenly, one afternoon, Mark comes home only to be greeted by a smiling Roger who happens to be waiting for him by the door.

"Er … Hey, Roger," Mark says with a slight frown. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry," Roger replies bluntly.

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry." Roger grabs Mark gently by the arm and pulls him close, then wraps his arms around him. "Is there a problem with that?"

"No, I just …" Mark grins a bit. He knew Roger wouldn't last that long. Then again, the sudden mood change strikes Mark as being out of place. He frowns again. "Why are you saying sorry now?"

"Does it matter?"

Mark gives Roger a mildly reproachful look and pulls out of the embrace. He goes to the kitchen and sets down his camera. Roger follows him, not at all pleased with how this is turning out.

"Hey. I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me?"

"You've been avoiding it for days, and now suddenly you're a changed man again. I'd like to know why."

"You don't believe me or something?"

"I'm not saying that, Roger, I'm just saying -"

"Why can't you stop looking at the whole picture for once in your life?"

"Why can't you start?"

The two men stand there, watching each other. Mark holds his breath as he waits for Roger's reply, hoping he hasn't pushed him over the edge. After what seems like an eternity of silence, a small confession comes out of Roger.

"I love you."

Mark blinks, and scowls.

"Look, Roger, if you're just going to act like this then there's no point in even bothering." He takes off his jacket and turns his back to Roger.

"No … Mark … Wait …" Roger pulls Mark around to face him. He's never liked showing signs of desperation, but he knew that desperate times called for desperate measures. "That's my problem. I love you."

"How the hell is that a problem, Roger?" Mark's tone is clipped. As he looks at Roger, waiting for an explanation, his mood softens.

"I don't deserve you. But I love you, I can't get enough of you." Roger strokes Mark's hair lightly. "And for now you love me back. But once you realize that I'm not good enough for you, you'll stop. I don't want you to stop."

Mark can't help it. He laughs. He leans against Roger, laughing into his shoulder and wrapping his arms around him.

"How is that … Why the fuck are you laughing?" Roger's cheeks turn pink. "I just confess myself to you, and you start laughing at me?"

"I was so worried," Mark says, once he's caught his breath, "that it was going to be something worse than that." He looks at Roger and grins. "It's a laugh of relief." He puts his head against Roger's shoulder again. "And, honestly, Rog, I can't think of a pair better suited than us."

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Author's Note: Well? One more chapter to go, people!


	12. I'm With You

Author's Note: HOLY COW. I AM **_SO _**SORRY FOR THE HORRIBLY SLOW UPDATE. I really don't know what happened here. BUT! Here it is! The final chapter of Civilian. The reviews were great, and I'm so glad it was such a popular story. I don't want to keep you from it any longer, though, so here it is. Enjoy!

_**CHAPTER TWELVE: I'm With You**_

_The calm and the storm, and forever yours  
And I'm with you_

_--I'm With You_

Tonight is going to be perfect. Roger has made sure of that. He's gone out to get food, cleaned up the loft, and even bothered to put on clean clothes for once. He finishes setting the table, and looks around. Something is missing. Candles. Searching through every drawer, Roger turns up nothing. He frowns. Perhaps Mimi has some.

Roger does not particularly want to see Mimi. He hasn't seen her for a long time, and he's not sure if she'll be friendly towards him. By the time he starts worrying, it's too late to go back to the loft. He's already knocked on the door. Mimi answers, and a smile instantly lights up her face.

"Roger!" She hugs him. "Long time no see."

"Er … Yeah." Roger frowns, returning the hug.

"I saw one of your band's shows the other day. You've gotten pretty good."

"Why didn't you come say 'hi' or something?"

"You and Mark looked a little too inseparable. I didn't want to impose."

Roger blinks, a hesitant smile forming on his lips. He wasn't sure what "a little too inseparable" implied. He shifted his weight.

"Yeah … Could I get some candles?"

Mimi's eyebrow rises slightly.

"I suppose." She gives Roger a look that says she has a feeling what they're for, but says nothing. She disappears into her apartment for a moment. Roger stands there nervously. He keeps checking the stairs to see if Mark is home yet. Mimi reappears and hands Roger a few candles.

"Don't bother returning them," she tells him. "I'm sure you'll need them again."

With a little wave, and one her usual smiles, Mimi closes the door. Roger stands there for a moment, registering the exchange. The door downstairs opens. It snaps Roger back to attention. Mark is home. He hurries up the stairs.

--

Mark walks into the loft and is greeted by quite a surprise. The loft is clean, the table is set (complete with candles), and the lights are down. He takes off his jacket, taking in everything. Roger springs up from the couch, and stops immediately. He's a little unsure suddenly.

"Roger, what's all this?" Mark looks at him.

Roger shrugs.

"I figured it'd be nice for us to … You know, have a proper evening together. Other couples do it."

"I never thought you had this in you. I'm impressed." Mark walks over to the table. "Mr. Romance." He grins in Roger's direction.

"Hey, give me some credit. I don't see you making romantic gestures towards me." Roger goes to the table as well, pulling Mark's chair out for him. All self-doubt leaves him.

Mark laughs and sits down. He looks at the food in front of him.

"Oh, Chinese food. Very romantic, Rog. Nothing says 'I love you' more than a clogged artery."

"Look, do you want this or not?"

"Sorry, sorry."

Scowling only slightly, Roger sits across from Mark. The two start eating in silence. After a moment, Roger puts down his food.

"Mark." He looks at Mark. "This is official now, isn't it?"

"What is?" Mark asks around a mouthful of rice.

"You and me dating. We're not Mark and Roger anymore. We're _Mark and Roger_."

"I thought that was obvious by now." Mark watches Roger.

"Yeah, I know. But I've fucked up with a lot of relationships over the years, and --"

"Don't worry, Roger." Mark gives the other man a reassuring smile. "I'm not going to kill myself, and I'm not going to sleep with one of our friends. I've dealt with enough of your fuck ups to know what to do in an emergency situation."

The rest of the dinner is finished with awkward silence. When they stand up, Mark turns to leave. Roger stops him.

"Isn't this the part where I'm supposed to walk you home?"

"Roger, what the hell are you --" Mark sighs, and smiles. "Fine. Walk me home."

Roger grins and takes Mark's hand. He leads him around the table and to the door of the loft. He stops and grins a bit more.

"So, do I get a good night kiss?"

Mark laughs. He feels ridiculous doing this. Regardless, he leans up and kisses Roger. When the two part, he gets a slight gleam in his eye.

"Would you like to come in for some coffee?"

Roger smirks and leans against the door.

"Won't your roommate be bothered by you bringing strange men inside?"

"My roommate probably has his own strange man in there right now."

"Well, in that case, I would love some coffee."

Mark mimes opening a door for himself and Roger. Roger "steps inside" and looks around.

"Nice place you got here. Classy. I like it."

"If I had known I was going to have company, I'd have cleaned it up a bit." Mark rolls his eyes in amusement and goes to get some coffee.

Roger plops himself down on the couch. He stretches a bit, and watches Mark. When the coffee is placed in front of him, he ignores it and chooses instead to kiss Mark. Mark returns the kiss gladly, and pulls away after a moment.

"Roger …"

Roger looks at Mark, his heart sinking. He was so sure that he and Mark were finally going to get passed the kiss and cuddle stage.

"As much as I like our couch, I'd much rather continue this in the bedroom. I have a feeling it'll be more comfortable that."

Roger blinks and grins. He gets up and pulls Mark up as well. Mark laughs at Roger's eagerness, and the two make their way to Mark's bedroom. Their arms wrap around each other almost instantly, and, as they fall on to the bed, Roger knows that this is something that he can get used to.

* * *

Author's Note: I hope you liked it. As it stands, this is it. However! Should Adam Pascal release another CD, I'll be more than happy to make another sequel. 


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